“Some people feel the rain. Others just get wet.” That’s a popular quote that has been attributed to Bob Dylan and Bob Marley (it’s easy to see why), but most likely came from singer/songwriter Roger Miller. During a television appearance on ABC, he was recorded saying these simple but deep words.

How can we either feel the rain or just get wet? Even though here in Southern California we don’t have a lot of opportunities to feel physical rain, we’ve all experienced being caught in the rain before. We all know what it feels like to be wet. But do we really feel the rain?

Some people say the quote has to do with our attitudes as we live our daily lives. Others have said it’s about finding our balance in life and making things work out despite the circumstances—a sort of glass half full/half empty approach to things.

In essence, the concept of feeling the rain is simply being present in our feelings and emotions at the moment. Others who just get wet aren’t fully embracing what’s happening. They’re mostly going through the motions. In the rainstorms of life, both kinds of people get wet but not all of them feel the rain.

When we are working through our grief after losing someone we love, it can feel like being in a rainstorm. It keeps coming down, drop after drop, drenching us and making us feel uncomfortable. We get wet with grief. But do we stop and feel what is happening? Do we take note of any changes in our feelings, habits, or reactions? Or do we just get wet in grief’s downpour?  In reality, if we don’t feel the “rain” during our grief, how will we feel when the sunshine returns?